Life’s lessons- PLAN NOT TO FAIL

Yesterday being mothers’ day, I made a huge pot of fried rice using a recipe I had perfected over the years from experience, I looked back and realized how far I had come and most importantly the falls, bruises, ascents and scars that have been significant in my process of accretion.

I recalled one experience that has never left my memory. I was about 6 years younger than I am now and the youth in my parish were organizing a cooking competition, I was selected to represent my group alongside another member of our all- winning group. All necessary preparations were done, armed with money in our pockets, we went to the market and bought the necessities for the big day. I come from a family where purchases especially kitchen supplies are often made in large quantities because of large number of mouths to feed and also because of my economic principle of buying more to save more which not everyone will understand. I bought accordingly.

On the big day, we presented our ingredients and set off cooking, we cooked deliciously of course but we ended up with the second position. The judges did not only buttress our strengths and successes, they also told us where we went wrong. Ours was in buying and presenting more than we needed for the competition at hand, ours was in not applying simple planning strategies, we failed to plan accordingly for the project, we had excesses, it was outright waste.

Knowledge isn’t always enough for success, having the wisdom to apply knowledge appropriately is an indispensable key. In every project and every activity, proper planning, budgeting and allocation of available resources not only ensure success, they leave us with a feeling of satisfaction. Why do it anyhow when you can do it the right way.

I take every failure and loss I encounter very seriously, not because I lack the spirit of sportsmanship but because I usually have a hard time getting over the feeling of inadequacy and unpreparedness. I always beat up myself for not having done better when I clearly could have. It comes with great prices of sleepless nights but at the end of it all, the experience equips me with lessons and a decision to do better next time. When such opportunities present themselves again, knowing where I had failed earlier, I come out better because experience taught me so.

SAPIOSEXUAL

She always walked with her head bowed low and her specs hanging on her nose. I always wondered, could it be that she was looking for something, or was she counting the pebbles that lined the way to her classroom. Thinking about the later option always made me laugh. It reminded me of how the 'seniors' would always ask a junior to 'pick a pin on the lawn', I made up my mind to carry pins around, just incase a senior needed one. It will save me the stress of having to search so long for the right pin to pick.

Hard tiny lumps that took the semblance of 'bon bon' sweets had begun to take shape on our chests, the boys had started making hissing sounds as we passed. Visiting days were no longer the same because it became a taboo to wear black bras, the prints of our pink bras must be made visible against our immaculate white outing shirts- that was the normal for us.

Everyone had dreams, places we hoped to be in the near future. Some doctors, lawyers, engineers, historians, economists etc, but never teachers, there were two other professions- PERPETUAL READERS and PERPETUAL BEAUTY QUEENS. The perpetual beauty queens are the professional instamodels we have today, some never made it to the toplist of ladies who were serial neck- twisters- life took over, and age tarried along, wowo even became a recognized word in the Nigerian dictionary. The perpetual readers became all they ever wanted to be, they became the FUTURE.

The lady from the first paragraph has a name, she was called 'CUNCJBRK', that's like an acronymn for the names of all the bookworms and nerds that existed in those days. As the boys took notice of us, some old he-goats couldn't resist the lure of lusting for their daughters, they bleated too. But these girls sha, the first lady's look alike, they didn't want to flow with the game. Hideous dressings were their style, there's this hairstyle called 'Low cut' which had a longer version called 'all back', they were known for that too. While we were becoming conversant with the names of the boys that were separated from us by a huge wall, those girls were making out with Ababio, they mastered the sequence of names in the periodic table, we no fit hear word for them H, He, Li, Be..... dem over sabi sha!!!. The teachers liked them, as if no be the same school fees we pay. To us- they didn't belong, they struggled too-we didn't know their names, but they secretly wanted to be recognised, so they never hesitated when we asked them to do our assignments for us- that was the only way their names could be remembered. Users sha!!!

I saw her today- yea, the 'First lady'. Remember how I told you that she became the future, the future eventually came, she toushed up. Her make-up was wow, in all my years of experience, I never could maintain that style. Her cloth clung tightly to her skin, the specs were gone, she later told me she traded them for contacts. One fine bobo,the types that ran after us and licked our feet, yes, that type married her. Do you know that she doesn't struggle to leave her name anymore, me sef, I proudly tell people she is my friend. She became a medical doctor, the one who had beauty and brains woven together.
I won't tell you what we became, but I will tell you that we hanker to be like her.

There is truly time for everything. Most times we pursue shadows and forget that that to get to the roof, a foundation has to be laid. Humble beginings should never be forgotten or underestimated, they should never be jumped over. When the chips are down, and what really matters is taken into account, we will know that there is dignity in labour, there is dignity in doing the right things at the right time.

Lest I forget, "that FAST car crashed.........."

HEART PRINTS

“This would have been a vacation like no other” lamented Kunle who was on all expense trip to London city. Kunle’s boss was travelling to see his family members who were resident in the United Kingdom and this was to last for two weeks.

The London trip was Kunle’s 2nd visit abroad, the first one was with his school academic club back in the secondary school. They were conveyed with the school bus just across the Seme border of the republic of Benin. This trip to London afforded him the opportunity to see a new environment, learn new things and if possible make new friends. The all expense trip turned out to be ‘not- so- all’ expense after all, Kunle’s boss Mr. Dimeji  paid for the travel costs, feeding and accommodation, all other frivolities were to bore their hole in Kunle’s pocket.

The boss stayed back at home to spend quality time with his  family while Kunle was left to his own devices to explore the city of London. Everyday Kunle set out, visiting parks, and historical places, but one problem remained- not enough pictures to show for his exploits. Everyone was in groups and packs, Kunle was easily the only one spotted alone, no friends, no family. Even the ‘Selfie stick’ didn’t prove much of a companion. Yea it helped him take amazing ‘Selfies’ but that was nothing compared to the full pictures that someone else would have captured. Wandering around the city, sometimes it was difficult to locate some places as he had no access to internet outside the hotel room, so ‘Google map’ wasn’t much of a friend. How better else to get lost than with a companion. Then it hit him, pangs of loneliness, twists in his tummy and painful homes in his heart. Moments like this, place like this are supposed to be shared with loved ones. Strings of beautiful moments would have been knitted into lasting memories but here he was. Alone and lonely.

In life, one way or the other we need people, we need each other. No matter how accomplished we are, it doesn’t matter the amount of affluence we live in. life is incomplete without people to share it with. Live an amazing life, get close to people, network. Live to leave ‘HEARTPRINTS’.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

 

He ought to love me anyway

The selfish spouse dreams away

Its called Unconditional love

To be given by my love

I can get fat like a ball

Cos Humpty sat on the wall

He’s going to bear my weight

Cos I bore the baby’s weight

My hair has got the fritz

My nail is chipped to bits

But I could care the less

And he won’t love me less

The house has picked the stink

My throat can give the clink

The bunk has lost the thrill

And funk has gone the sill

I wake up to a call

So dry has gone his balls

My beloved drifts away

There’s so much of deray

My hands have lost the rope

But my heart will pick the hope

I pray that I can cope

And trace the steps to scope

PS: I’m sure I suck at poetry, I just hope I’ve not made an utter fool of ME

I’ve been thinking about unconditional love for a long time- its boundaries and limits, where does it start? Where does it end?

Are we to demand for it? Where do we draw the line in our demands?

Are we to give it in return? do we give it enough?

I’ve come to ponder on the reason why spouses lose their figures

Why we irritate our loved ones and make no efforts to stop

Why we indulge in many bad and unattractive habits

I think I know the answer, or something close to the answer- We think we deserve to be loved by them, Unconditional love is our right

Truly you are supposed to be loved, flaws and all, you ought to be yourself with no pretense in front of you loved ones, but most importantly if you love the people around you, you need to make conscious efforts to show them that you love them by getting rid of filthy habits

When you love someone, you have their interest at heart and sometimes you put them before you

This is why you need to think about them and make choices that make them feel good

Get rid of that excess weight

Get rid of those nasty habits

Clean up after yourself

Drop those cigarette sticks (when you come down with cancer, they suffer more than you do and when you die, they grieve more than you, do you grieve anyway- the gods may be angry, but dead people don’t go crying, or maybe they do at St. Peter’s gate)

Sometimes, life puts us in situations where we may seem helpless, in those situations-they understand, they help

But what about people who have all it takes to live a desirable life

Hands and feet to move around and take care of themselves

I think insensitivity should be made a punishable offence

Yea- They are supposed to love you anyhow, but must it be anyhow?

GETTING TO ZERO

Are there days when you want to talk and no words come out?

when you want to speak and there’s no inspiration,

when you want to live but life doesn’t want any part of you

Those days happen, to me, to everyone, but they happen most times to some people.

Imagine what it will be like to have to take your bath with your cloths on,

To have to make up before every selfie,

To have to take permission before you pass ‘flatus’

Many people don’t have to imagine it, they live it……. maybe not exactly

But it doesn’t have to be so.

For many awesome years, few people have been on the forefront of a war that is for everyone- the war against HIV/AIDS

In the words of Charlie Sheen “ everyday of every month, of every year, countless of individuals go to work, man their stations, fulfill their professional obligations with a host of disabilities, diseases, imperfections, hurdles, detours………….treated, HIV is no different".

Today’s message goes to everyone

To those who don’t yet know their status –Get tested

To those who know their status- Live right

To those on a vengeful mission- Lay down your arms spread the message not the virus

To our dear brothers and sisters who think being healthy is an exclusive merit of theirs, think about that positive infant who knows not the origin of his status, think about that girl child who was raped, think about that helpless victim whose life was saved with that blood transfusion, think about that ignorant spouse whose partner chose to keep a secret, think about  that young man who could only get a shave in the town barber’s shop, think about all those things you never did right but didn’t have to pay for them. Think about HUMANITY.

I think its time for everyone to join in the fight, not against the victims, but against the Virus.

Let us take it down to the zero level:

Zero new infections

Zero stigmatization

Zero discrimination

Zero deaths.

its WORLD AIDS' DAY 2015

LET'S GET TO ZERO

...........not my property

Ok, and every religion is disowning terrorism n divorcing killing of innocent people, that's a very noble thing to be done.
While growing up, even before Boko haram and ISIL became the new Happening groups, I have always heard that a CERTAIN religion believed that when they kill or die killing unbelievers, Heaven becomes their prize, I'm talking about 15 years ago, when although the only TV program my Parents made sure we watched was NTA news, we never used to hear about a lot of mass killings.
My question is, if killing of unbelievers wasn't part of the teachings of that religion, why didn't their leaders correct them, why weren't the properly indoctrinated, why didn't someone speak up, if they were misinterpreting the scripture, why didn't someone clarify it?.
I weep for the souls that meet their makers unprepared, I weep for those who mourn n are mourned, I also weep for terrorism, who has now become an orphan.
When an evil seed, perhaps a weed is sown, not uprooting it has the same effect as nurturing it- it is given a chance to live, and trust me, that seed competes well, it grows well, it brings to birth others of its kind, and together, they TAKE OVER, that is how bushes come to be.
It's a Monday to make a difference, Look good, Speak up and Soar high.

BLACK FRIDAY

 Its BLACK FRIDAY once again.