HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND- Toke was right afterall

I was 17 going on 30 when they came by our house One sunny Sunday to see my parents , the woman scribbled some scriptures on a piece of paper and practically begged me to find time to read it

 What prompted her to reach out to me in that manner ? was pain written on my forehead? were fine lines of life drawn on my innocent face? could it be that my eyes were wrinkled, were the marks of aging hidden in my heart that visible. I can't say.

It was as if she could see through me, she could see me dance to the tunes that life played for me. Sometimes life beats the drums and strikes the chord, not minding how skilled you are in the art of dancing, not caring whether you preferred blues or the 'Terry G' kind, it goes as far as playing surugede, and still leaves you with no option but to dance.  Maybe she could really see through me, or she was God's messenger to me, the answers remain unknown but that day marked a turning point in my life.

"Young people, enjoy your youth. Be happy while you are still young. Do what you want to do, and follow your heart's desire. But remember that God is going to judge you for whatever you do". Ecclesiastes 11 vs 9

I pondered on this scripture for days, what bothered me more was why she chose to give me not just any word of knowledge,  but this particular scripture.

In this verse, the summation of your life as a youth is spelt out. I thought about everything I could do, all that my heart wished for and my body craved, while thinking about them, I remembered that there was a price - God's judgement.

So go ahead and have a one night stand if you so crave for it, kiss a toad if you care to. For every action you take says Newton, "there is an equal and opposite reaction "

waiting for God's judgement may seem too far, but the consequences of your action starts here on earth, while you still live and breathe. Before you make any thoughtless move, or take a careless decision, think about the repercussions it will bring, can you deal with it? How much of it can you take.

I won't go ahead to criticize the words of Toke because clearly what matters most to her differs from what matters to me and you  but I will tell you this "Make peace with every decision you make."

Lots of love

With love from the 'OTHER ROOM'

For many days now, I have watched the social media devour and criticize Buhari over his comments, men and women alike,  everyone is expressing their displeasure and putting up beautiful posts and pictures about how their wives are not made for the kitchen, living room and the infamously famous 'other room.'

Let us hear word biko, it's not by talking, in Nse's voice "5,6,what's difference!"

Is it because it's Buhari? leave the old man alone, he is thinking like his generation, what about you and me, who are in the computer age and use our computers only to chat on Facebook.

How many of us women, attach that much value to ourselves? How many of us confine ourselves to watching Telemundo all day long? When you sit idle in the sitting room all day long, not being productive, sucking up oxygen while your fellow women are out there changing the world, my dear, you are part of the furniture,  YOU BELONG TO THE LIVING ROOM.

How many of us are so useless that the only skill they have is kama sutra. When others are being recognized in various capacities, the only award we can bag is from the council in the 'other room '. You meet a man today and he shows you little love,your back is on the floor. How many of you in those pseudo relationships cry wolf when he doesn't give you money for 'work well done'. Are you not being unnecessarily hard on Mr.President? My dear, you belong to the 'other room' and to think of it, no one placed you there, you chose that space. When we devalue ourselves that much, reduce ourselves to sex toys and objects of satisfaction to the male folk including married men, what do we expect?

Some of us don't even have position in any of the rooms, because we no sabi  cook, afterall, we are wives not cooks, Rejoice! Your position is still unknown,  you are the 'X' that my maths teacher kept asking me to find.

And for the men, he who has no sin should cast the first stone. Are you better than Buhari, you who won't allow your wife to work because of the small small change you feel you are getting. You who won't give her the opportunity to pursue her dreams because you are afraid of letting her out of your sight, lest she meet men who will treat her better. You who will not help her in house work because you feel it's a woman's duty to cook, clean and take care of your children, while as a mAN that you is nau, you will be reading newspaper and watching television. You who won't allow her to express her views or give her voting rights in the decisions around the home because you don't want her to challenge your authority as a mAN, you are no better than Buhari. He who is able to relinquish absolute power other than wield it forcefully has the ultimate power. Learn from Jesus, who even though he was God, he did not cling to that authority  he still chose to come to poor parents,  and die like a criminal (see Philippians 2:6-11). Many men limit their women to their thoughts all in the name of acting like a MAN, when clearly she reasons better, don't be ashamed to let her help you grow, don't be too proud to accept her wise counsel, it benefits the family.

We are the light of the world, let us shine, let us not hide our light under bushels of makeup and laziness. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see you good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven. In reality, men are able to see your worth, it reflects in the way you carry yourself, and they treat you accordingly, when  you place yourself higher than these buharified rooms, real men place you high, while the weak ones get intimidated by you.

Mr.Man, please let her shine, allow your woman to shine, all those other women you meet out there and admire the good in them were allowed to shine by the men in their lives. Even if she refuses to shine, Please polish her to shine, inspire her to be all she can be, and guess who will be proud of her? You!!! Don't limit her to the rooms that the society has tagged her with. Adorn her, and love her as you love yourself, as you aim high, inspire her to aspire higher (see Ephesians 5:28-30)

Let us all live and let live, while we are at it, let's leave our marks on earth. be the change you want to see.
With love from the 'other room '

Orji Uchechi