FIVE KINDS OF MEN YOU SHOULD NOT MARRY -1

Marriage is for Christians is a lifetime affair, the person you decide to marry goes a long way to ensure your happiness in the long run. Getting attached to the right partner reduces your prayer points in marriage. It is easy to overlook certain red flags while dating, these signs crop up and grow into something bigger and more destructive in marriage. While I cannot tell you who to marry, i'll tell you the kinds of men you must never get attached to.



The Narcissist: This man is too absorbed in his own needs, desires and interest to take notice of yours, his ego is inflated. He pays no attention and shows no interest in things that matter to you  , he doesn't share in your passions. Marriage is partnership, it involves the daily giving up of oneself for another,
Greater love hath no man than this. Marrying a self absorbed person takes away the gift on unconditional love from you.

The man who underplays your standards: This kind of man doesn't value your values, he makes a mockery of the kind of woman you have worked hard to build and pressures you into giving in to his demands. The man deserving of you should respect you and everything you represent.


The Shameless Man:  I believe there is a level of pride due to every individual, the kind of pride that makes one not to stoop below a certain standard, the right kind of pride represents ones dignity and self respect, a man lacking in this has no boundaries or limits to what he can do, he has no shame, no scruples.

The Irresponsible Man :  The irresponsible man takes up no responsibilities, you can see this in his conversation,  the stories he tells you, does he make excuses when something goes wrong or mans up to his mistakes with the aim of becoming a better person? Does he pick up bills and do little things depending on his financial capability? Theither kind of home you hope to build depends on how willing both partners are to fulfil their duties.

The Spiritual Baby : If a man is not spiritually and emotionally mature, never get attached to him. Contrary to what the society has made us believe, the man is the spiritual leader of his home. We have watched our mothers scrape their knees and roast perpetually in the war room to save their homes. The era of St. Monica should be fast phasing out. I'm not saying women should stop being prayerful, I'm saying we should not be unequally yoked, a man's relationship with God should be strong enough for him to know the words of HIS WORD to wash her with ( Ephesians 5:26 ) and live by those words.

...to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word (Eph 5:26)


BOYS: I lay emphasis on this point because one of the most causes of drama in marriage is linked to third party interference especially from inlaws. Don't get hitched to a boy who hides under the vocabulary 'Man.’ A man should leave his father and mother. Watch out for signs that he is ready to leave and cling to you. I'm not saying a man shouldn't love his parents, he's not expected to abandon them, but at a stage in a man's life, if he's overly attached to his mother, it's a warning sign. A young lady complained to me about her husband being treated like a child by his mum, sent on unspeakable errands and called around like an errand boy, on probing further she confessed that while they were courting she was aware of certain things her husband's mum said against her and he took sides with his mum. Things like that don't change overnight, if he believes everything the mother says without asserting his sense of reasoning and does all she says without a proper sense of judgment. Leave him be, allow him to grow up. In such marriage you will continue to feel like your husband is married to two women, jealously and insecurity is bound to mess up with your head and interfere with your relationship.

“and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father
and mother and be united to his wife,
and the two will become one flesh'? (Matt 19:5)

The Chauvanist: This man believes in the superiority of men and has no respect for the women in his life,  His interaction with women shows if he can be trusted with your heart, your life , your future and your daughters. Does he ogle every woman he drives past, use cuss words and objectify women? Does he talk back and down at his mother and sisters? Signs that he will be an abuser or a womanizer are hidden between these lines.

While waiting on God for your partner, take your time to mould yourself into a woman you can be proud of, and do not be afraid to get rid of anyone who doesn't fit into God's plan and purpose for you. His will for you is good not evil, to bring you to the expected end of fulfilment in marriage (Jer 29:11).

ARISE OF YE MEN!!!

I write with so much pain, the situation of our society wearies me, the condition of 'Manhood' is critical.

I've seen men criticizing girls for having the 'Aristo' mentality,

I have seen new generation men who no longer find it okay marrying women who have low paying jobs or no jobs at all,

Recently  I saw an interview  of women in the international  fish market lagos ,where  they expressed regrettably that men were no longer fending for their homes.

There is so much laziness and irresponsibility among our growing men,

This  forces me to ask,  where are the MEN? , Are there no MEN in our land? have they been replaced by overgrown babies and old boys.

Where is the dignity of MANHOOD ? these days it is believed to be found in the number of women you are able to sleep with , 

Gone  are the days of Okonkwo in Chinua Achebe's things fall apart when men were known by their strength and hardwork.Things  have indeed fallen apart.

Irrespective of the assumption that  a child gone bad is a product of a mother's lapses, Every promiscuous woman you see today is as a result of a man's failure to do his duty. A father's absence in his children's lives, a father's failure to discipline his children, a father's failure to provide for his children, a man's failure to protect every woman he sees. 

In the african tradition, a man is seen as the head of a family, no matter how little he is, he is regarded as a father figure in the life of the women in his house. Irrespective of his birth order, be he the last child or the first, a man assumes a fatherly role over the women in his life

This is a wake up call to the men, rise up to your duties

Rise up as a father

Rise up as a provider

Rise up as a protector

Rise up as a warrior, defend her, defend her honour, defend your wives, defend your sisters, defend your daughters

I may not have seen everything, but in my short stay here on earth, I have seen enough irresponsibility, enough to make my heart ache, so much that tears roll from my eyes, and I wonder, what does the future hold?

Where is the dignity of manhood?

Keduzie ugwu e jiri mara nwoke?

Rise up o ye men, rise up!

Wake up from your deep slumber

Gird your loins with strength

Fortify your arms

No matter the emancipation we undergo, we still need you

We need you to lead us in prayer

We need you to lead us to the farmyard

We need you to lead us to the battlefield of life

We need you to help us build the homes

We need you to lead the society aright

We still need you

May we be able to raise our sons to be men, men who know their worth

I am a function of a man's labour

I am a function of a father's discipline 

I am a function of a brother (s) duties

I am a function of a mother's virtue

I am a composite product of people who rose up to their responsibilities 

Let the dignity of man be restored

On BEING RELIGIOUS

1. I've heard these sentences severally and more recently, frequently "do away with religion ", "stop being religious ",  "are we truly Christians or are we being religious" e.t.c. Anyone who uses these phrases and hasn't heard about "being spiritual but not being religious" is still a learner or an ardent Pastor-listener  (pls google SBNR)
   
   
   Let's break it down with the dictionary 
   
   
   Definition of Religion  according to Merriam- Webster 
   1a :  the state of a religious  e.g a nun in her 20th year of religion
   b(1) :  the service and worship of God or the supernatural (2) :  commitment or devotion to religious faith or observance
   2:  a personal set or institutionalized system of religious attitudes, beliefs, and practices
   3: archaic :  scrupulous conformity : conscientiousness
   4:  a cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith
   
   
   Definition of Religious  
     1:  relating to or manifesting faithful devotion to an acknowledged ultimate reality or deity e.g. a religious person, religious attitudes
   2:  of, relating to, or devoted to religious beliefs or observances e.g. joined a religious order
   3a :  scrupulously and conscientiously faithful.
   b :  fervent, zealous
   
   
   When I hear those sentences, I can't help but wonder which particular definition they want me to do away with, and because most people who say them are only "quoting" what they heard their Pastor or will I say 'religious leader' said, they aren't able to explain their points exactly.
   
   
   I take it that they mean, that we should reject a particular way of doing things which was handed over to us, or that we should ignore a routine ( I stand to be corrected, I am open to more explanations)
   
   
   For me, I will say, there is no Christianity without religion, they go hand in hand......
   
   
   Let's take it down to the scriptures
   JESUS WAS RELIGIOUS 
   
   
   Many of us fail to remember that Jesus was a Jew, and He diligently followed the Jewish tradition:  
   ·        Jesus was dedicated in the temple on his 8th day according to law of the Lord regarding the ceremony of purification( Luke 2:21-24)
   ·        Jesus observed the Passover ( Luke 2:42, John 2:13,23. Matt 26:17-19)
   ·        Jesus often prayed in the mountains and in lonely places (Mark 1:35, Luke 5:16, Matt 14:23) He did that always, he could have always blurted out his prayers wherever he was, but he chose to go to specific places, not caring what was happening, the same reason he kept his parents looking for him, the same reason his disciples were always looking for him -his love and devotion to God. to be religious is to be DEVOTED
   ·        Jesus was religious with prayers, he taught us to pray in a specific way and in specific places
   
   
     One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples.”
    He said to them, “When you pray, say:
   “‘Father, hallowed be your name,
   your kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread. Forgive us our sins for we also forgive everyone who sins against us
   And lead us not into temptation...... ( Luke 11:1-4)
   
   
    “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you....(Matt 6:5-6)
   
   
   Jesus categorically stated that he did not come to do away with the laws of Moses and the teachings of the prophets, but to make them materialize (Matt 5:17-20)
   What Jesus did was to do away with practices that were not in line with the greatest commandment of all - LOVE, that was why he performed miracles even on Sabbath days.(Mark 3:4), the same reason he defended his disciples when they harvested on Sabbath day ( Mark 2:25-27)                    
   We are Christians ,  followers of Christ and should live accordingly, the death and resurrection of Jesus isn't the death of one religion and the birth of another, it is the fulfillment of the utmost will of God.
   I pray for a generation of Christians who seek to have a deeper relationship with God, who don't just go to church to download the teachings of their leader, but also go home to study the scriptures to show themselves approved before God (2 Tim 2:15)
   Christians who open themselves up to hear from God.
   
   
   You have all the power you need, the Holy spirit in you reveals all truth,  when in doubt about a teaching, seek him, even when convinced about a teaching, seek Him more to teach you more.
   If you preach against religion as a Christian and still go ahead to celebrate Christmas and Easter, then your level of hypocrisy should be measured, these are religious traditions not invented by your Pastor, but handed over to you from generations. As Christianity cannot do without religion, so also it cannot be alienated from tradition.
   Please  drop your views and suggestions so that we can learn more.
   
   
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